Last night I met with my peer group which is a part of the Artist’s Professional Toolbox course I’m taking from the Boston Art’s and Business Council of Greater Boston. In our peer group we have a structured part of our meeting, where we each get time to talk about where we are at and then get feedback.

When it was my turn I shared how I’ve been struggling with meeting goals I’ve set for completing a series of paintings I’ve been working on this fall. My first deadline was to have them done by Thanksgiving.

I missed that one.

Now I’ve set a new one for the end of the year and I’m not sure I’m going to make that one either. I’ve been getting time in the studio (although it does vary from week to week) but I’m frustrated with the fact that I’m most likely going to miss this second deadline.

That’s when someone asked me: “Are you more interested in the process or the end result?”

I had to stop and think.

In reality, it’s a bit of both. But lately I’ve been so focused on just trying to get to the finish line of my goals that I’m missing the process. I’ve been making decisions in my work just to move it forward rather than taking the time to be more conscious about my choices of composition and color. So I added something like, “I’ve been painting unconsciously.”

That’s when someone asked me: “Is that a bad thing?”

No.

In some ways my work is about the unconscious part of our being, and how that unconsciousness mixes and flows in the ether to  collectively create what we call our “life experience.” So perhaps I can give the paintings that have developed more unconsciously some validity – even if I think they are “bombs.” More importantly, I’m being reminded that it’s about the process and not the end result. Isn’t life about the journey, not the destination?

Yet I still struggle with the deadline dilemma. As a painter, we are conditioned to create as much product as we can. We always need to be churning out new work. With an exhibition deadline looming it often becomes about the end product rather than the process. Perhaps there really isn’t an answer to this….since all of life seems to be a cycle of ups and downs the focus between process and product may just have this same cycle too and it’s something I need to figure out how to ride.

Anyway, here’s the last “unconscious” painting I finished (quick shot)…

Currently Untitled, 16×16, acrylic on panel.

And here’s one that has sort of been running on auto pilot. I’m stuck on my color direction. I added this bright turquoise blue and now don’t know what to do. (It was part of an unconscious choice in a rush to finish the piece)…

Work in process, 30×30 inches, acrylic on panel.

So I’m going back to nature to see what can inspire me on it’s next step. I’ve got a composite of images below I hope to pull from and see what happens. It’s interesting to find that these unusual and saturated color combinations actually exist out there.

I’ve been in the process of moving my studio from the basement of my house to the upstairs where I will have better light and more room. Once it’s finished I’ll have a total of three rooms and about 435 sf.

Here is the main room in process of being renovated.

Here it is with the carpets taken out, the floors all fixed up and a clean coat of paint on the walls.

And here it almost set up…

I’ll build a large painting panel that will hang on the long wall to the right (below) that will cover the “cut out” that is open to the room on the other side. I’ll also be installing track lighting to supplement the natural light.

Finally got the second painting wall up and lights installed…so, officially all done and have been working hard.